Ain’t Emotional Intelligence such a cool thing?

I had a very personal example of recognizing a moment that required Emotional Intelligence today. I caught it and recognized it so suddenly that I decided to scrap an already completed article and write on this subject.


My experience today was quite timely. Last Thursday at the Stateline SHRM meeting, Chris Johnston – Leadership Development Consultant with Good Shepherd Hospital, gave a presentation on Emotional Intelligence and how it ties in leadership. It was a great topic.

Emotional Intelligence is by no means a new school of thought. As far back as 1990 with the publication of S.R. Covey’s book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People [Simon & Schuster], you can see the culmination of social skills/responsibility, interpersonal relationship and self-awareness management begin to cultivate into what’s now known as Emotional Intelligence. Even more to the point is D. Goleman’s book Emotional Intelligence [1995 Bantam Books]. If you haven’t already, check them out. Both are great reads.

So… yah… Emotional Intelligence has been floating around as this ‘thing’ for nearly 20 years. Everyone has it to some degree. And, probably like everyone out there, I love to think I have a very high EiQ … Emotional Intelligence Quotient.

And then there are days like today that knock my EiQ down a point or 2. … or 3 … or 4 … ok, fine … 5.


What happened…


I recently created a promotional video for Assured Staffing. Nothing special, just short quick and to the point. Part of the marketing plan for getting the message out included a written post with a link to the video via groups on LinkedIn. The LinkedIn portion of the marketing project started a few days ago.


Almost immediately I began receiving positive feedback. Cool. My ego was being stroked. I was receiving excellent validation that I had done a very good thing. 2 gold stars for me!


Today, I received an email that notified me of a response was attached to 1 of the group posts that was just down right negative. OMG! WTH! How dare he be critical of my gold star achievement!?!


For the 1st few seconds after reading it, I had the EiQ of a Soggy Tater-Tot!


Then a little switch in my head flicked on and made me ask, “why is this what he experienced when so many others experienced the opposite”. Why indeed.


I took a moment to re-read what he’d posted and then to look at it through the picture his words created. I got it. I understood where he was coming from.


Now I had an opportunity to share where I was trying to come from, and provide a little more clarification for him. I had the opportunity to accept and reflect his feelings from my own point of view. This could be a cool thing.


Via LinkedIn I shot him a private note in return and also posted a public response under the discussion thread just below his. I took ownership of his feelings about my original post, and frankly, agreed with him. Through his eyes, he was right.


I then explained why I did what I did and shared where I was coming from, giving him a little more clarification on my original post.


He responded in a most positive way via a public post. He was very appreciative of the fact that I was trying to use creativity, that I accepted his feelings and that I faced his post head on without becoming defensive. After a few more exchanges, he sent me an invitation to join his LinkedIn network.


For those of you not familiar with LinkedIn, it’s sort of a professional version of FaceBook where you network with other professionals. Invitations to become part of a network (sort of like a ‘friend’ on FaceBook) is generally something you earn via quality exchanges through group discussion forums.


In the end, as a result of my Emotional Intelligence switch flipping on, I earned turned a negative into a strong positive and earned a new connection resource.


Ain’t Emotional Intelligence such a cool thing?